December 10th 2011

Dear Helpline,

I am a 15 yr old girl and there's this lesbian girl in my school whom I really like to see. I have a crush on her but I have a boyfriend. She's really cute, smart and has a dark chocolate complexion. I want to tell her how I feel but I’m afraid of rejection and I don't know if she already has a girlfriend. Should I break up with my boyfriend? I really want to be with this girl. I've fallen in love with her and want to get to know her more. Please don't tell me that I’m just going through a ''phase''...because I’m not. What should I do? How can I express my feelings towards her? I really love her. I need help!

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

First and foremost, you stated that you are 15. 15 is not considered the dating age. Usually the youngest age for dating is considered 16. Despite your age, you can’t help who you like and it’s only natural. I’m not saying its “okay” to date as yet. You’re very young and as a teenager, one tends to go through so many stages and phases. However you need to concentrate on school. When starting relationships so early, negativity can affect your performance level. Emotional problems of that sort, can possibly affect your grades at school. A relationship is a beautiful thing but it can be complicated that’s why it’s advised that you start a relationship when you are a bit older. You haven’t experienced love as yet, and you do not understand what real love is like as yet. When it comes to teenagers, it is most likely infatuation along with the fact that you like some qualities about the person. There’s more to a relationship than just looks and the individual being funny and what not. You may not want to hear that you’re going through a “phase” or you’re “not in love” but you need to be open-minded about the situation. When it relates to the lesbian thing, are you attracted to other girls as well or have been? Or is it just this one specific girl? This is quite a complicated situation and it is best advised that you wait till you are at least 18, so that you will get a little more knowledge about life. As you grow, you’re supposed to learn. Give it some time, and see how things turn out.

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