June 04th 2011

Dear Helpline,

My friend confidentially told me how she has sex with college guys and is getting into dangerous drugs. I want to help her see that she's going down a bad path, but I don't want her to hate me for it. I don't know how to be a good friend to her! What should I do?

True Friend

Dear True Friend,

Sometimes, the best way to be a good friend is to risk losing the friendship completely. Yes I know it sounds like it makes no sense but it's true. If you want to do the right thing for your friend, you've got to risk having her hate you in order to give her the advice she needs (not want) to hear.

Tell her exactly what is on your mind and how you feel. Get it all out. And if she refuses to listen or she just blows you off, talk to her parents about what's been going on. YES, you have to get an adult involved. The alternative is sitting back and watching while she endangers herself, and that's just not an option.

She'll probably hate you...at least for a little while. But eventually she'll see that you were trying to help. If she doesn't realize that, then her friendship probably wasn't worth preserving in the first place.

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