November 26th 2011

Dear Helpline,

I have this serious problem. I was sexually abused as a child and I think it is now affecting my current relationship. I have an insecurity issue. Also, I always feel down and rejected. I do not know how to make myself happy. I shun the people who love me. I think I need to see a psychologist. My relationship is crazy. I bring up stupid problems. I do not want him to go anywhere with his co workers or friends because I get jealous. Every time he doesn't come over I get upset and break up with him. He still comes back. I love him. But I do not know how to show him because I'm so scared he'll hurt me. Every little thing becomes a problem. I feel like I'm making a problem because I make it seem like nothing is good enough. Please help me. I really love him and I want him in my life. Please. I do not know where to turn.

Lis

Dear Lis,

I suggest that you do see a psychologist, as they are qualified to help individuals with such problems and will help you a great deal. You seem to have a few insecurities which may be for a number of reasons. You need to probably write down the various things you feel and the various situations you are going through. Ask yourself why do you genuinely feel this way. Why do you get jealous when your partner goes out? Does he give you reason to be that way? Don’t you trust your partner? Sometimes we have to learn to put our insecurities aside and trust, because in some cases the individual gives you no reason not to do so. How would you feel if he implied that he was upset when you went out with your friends or co workers? People not only need to spend time with their partners, but other people as well including friends, family etc. You can’t break up with your boyfriend every time he doesn’t come over. Eventually you will push him away. People can deal with certain situations for a certain period of time. Yes it’s true he may love you too, but sometimes people rather go for those who are “less complicated.” By seeing a psychologist, you are able to let your emotions out, and he/she will help you, especially with your bad experiences. It is affecting you and you need to deal with these problems. Just make that step, take one step at a time, and hopefully, things will work out for you. Wishing you all the best.

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