October 01st 2011

Dear Helpline,

My boyfriend broke up with me over a month ago because I went out with my ex. I understand that it was very disrespectful but regardless of how much I've apologized for it, he won't accept me back into his life. I explained to him that I had no intentions of starting an intimate relationship with my ex but he doesn't believe me and I really do mean it. I just wish that things would go back to the way they were. I'm ready to do anything to get things back that way but he won't give in. What should I do?

Starfire

Dear Starfire

It appears that this guy is adamant about his decision and won’t budge anytime soon. It is clear that he is very much disappointed and disgusted by what you did and maybe this is just a blessing in disguise for you. The saying goes “every disappointment is a blessing.” This may be the last thing you want to hear right now, but who knows, it may very well save you from something that was going to affect you later on. You can also try something else, give it one more shot. You can try getting him something you know that he likes the most, with an “I’m sorry” note. Most guys usually say the way to their hearts is through their stomachs so maybe you should try cooking his favourite dish, with “I’m sorry” written at the top, or if you aren’t really good at baking, buy it for him, or even if you aren’t any good at cooking, you can follow a recipe and make it yourself. It may not be the world’s best “cheesecake” or “soufflé” but the fact that you went the extra mile he will be appreciative of. However, if that doesn’t work, leave it at that. Some guys take longer to come around. Give him his space, maybe after some thought, he’ll give it another shot. However this is not guaranteed. If you noticed he hasn’t called, or made any effort to see you after a period of time, this basically means he has no interest in you and has moved on. This may sound harsh, but most likely the reality of the situation. Remember one thing, if he doesn’t take you back, you have learnt a major lesson and the next time you’re even contemplating going out with your ex, you need to consider the nature of your relationship between you and your ex, and also the kind of person that your partner is. Always be considerate of your partner’s feelings and always think of how you would feel if the situation were reversed.

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