May 10th 2008

Good Girls…
…Bad Guys

An event which occurred a few days ago had me to sit and ask myself those questions, “Why is it that the bad guys always gets the good girls and “Why do girls fall for the bad boys?”

From gangsters to thugs, to drug dealers, all sort of bad boys. All of them have one thing in common they play the game of love by their own set of rules and if you break the rules you’ll end up with a broken heart. What is a bad boy? He’s a thug, a roughneck and a rebel. What you must keep in mind when dealing with a bad boy is that most of them see women as conquests – something to be captured and conquered. And when the thrill is over so is the relationship. Although many of you know this, some of you chase after thugs love hoping to be the one to change him. In the end you’re left feeling hurt and betrayed. And you know when you’ve got a guy who’s not acting right because you’re probably quick to tell your friends what to do the minute their boyfriends start acting up. But sometimes it’s easier to tell others what to do than to do what you know and think is right.

Well I believe that women don’t enjoy or find it hard to be in a relationship which sounds “Perfect.” They like a little drama once in a while and love to be flattered. Secondhand, I know what it’s like to be captivated by a bad boy, because of people around me. I learned from these persons how to make healthier relationship choices. They were die – hard bad boy addicts. They wouldn’t even look at a guy unless he was a roughneck with a bad attitude. If you're in a relationship with a bad boy after a few years or months of emotional roller coaster rides, baby mother’s drama and being played for a fool, you will wake up and smell the dysfunction of the relationship. As a result you will develop some common sense that may help break the bad boy habit.

If you ask most females why they like bad boys they’ll say it is the challenge or just the excitement. But often what starts out as an exciting, high-speed adventure ends up turning into an emotional drama. Bad boys offer a double dosage of pain and pleasure. When they’re bad they’re awful, but when they are good they make you feel like you’ve just hit the lotto jackpot. So ladies when you’ve got a good one, hold on tight because there are a few good men. Like the saying goes “A good man is hard to find”. They are either married, already taken or dead.

Women who feel good about themselves set high standards in every aspect of their lives – including their romantic relationships. If you are in a relationship with a guy who lies, cheats, talks down to you or mistreats you in any way then regardless of what you may want others to believe you do not feel good about yourself. You should be able to value who you are, treat yourself with high regard and then others will do the same. Knowing that you are worthy of being treated with kindness and respect.

Have you ever watched an episode of Jerry Springer or the latest music videos on BET.? I know many of you have. Do you see how the media portrays the bad boy image as every girl’s dream or as a positive vibe? Popular television and music videos try to make you believe that it is acceptable for guys to disrespect and devalue women to sex objects or ornaments on their TV stands. You don’t have to believe everything that the media feeds you. You can make up your own mind about what is attractive to the human eyes and acceptable in society. There’s no good reason to stay in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t appreciate or respect your worth.

By Cotney John