Aug 02 2008

What is it made of?
Sugar, spice and not everything nice.
"Loving is sharing, and not demanding."

Relationships are indeed 100% TRUST. Without it, you are just fooling yourself. Why lie to me? Why lie to her? Why lie to him? If your relationship is slacking off to a point you have to lay down traps. Then what is the point?

Of course it is not my opinion that matters, it is yours. Like some people say, if you want your relationship to work you have to forgive him for his mistake. I don’t believe in this because one mistake leads to another. Players rate their game by how many 'scores' they make. Getting you to believe them is just part of the game.

When people are asked what they consider the most important ingredients in a good relationship, communication is the highest on the list. Are we actually taught HOW to communicate effectively? Healthy communication and effective conflict resolution in a relationship involve not only being able to express ourselves clearly, but also being able to really listen to what our partner is saying to us. Good listening is often a hard skill that needs to be learned and practiced. Particularly when there are important decisions regarding marriage, sex, career, and family to be made, healthy communication is critical.

It is also difficult but healthy to accept that there are some things about our partners that will not change over time, no matter how much we want them to. Unfortunately, there is often an expectation that our partner will change only in the ways we want, or we hope that our partner will never change from the way he or she is now.
In healthy relationships, there is respect for each partner’s right to have her/his own feelings, friends, activities, and opinions. It is problematic to expect or demand that that he or she have the same priorities, goals, and interests as you or to expect that your partner will “give up” other interests, activities, and friends “for the relationship.”

Disagreements in a relationship are not only normal but can be resolved productively. This can actually strengthen the relationship. It is unavoidable and normal that there will be times of sadness, tension, or anger between you and your partner. The keys to resolving conflicts in a healthy relationship are self-honesty, a willingness to consider your partner’s views even if you don’t fully understand it, and communication, communication, communication!

Unconditional love is to love someone regardless of his or her actions or beliefs. It is a concept which can be compared to true love, a term which is more frequently used to describe love between lovers. But, unconditional love can be used to describe love between family members, friends and between others in highly committed relationships.

I have come to the conclusion that the word "love" is meaningless. Some people who tell me they love their partners treat them horribly; others stay with partners they clearly despise, because, they say, they love them.
Don't let a word get in the way of what is real in your relationship. Do you and your partner both seek to meet each other's needs? Does the relationship provide fun, stimulation, security, trust, intimacy and support? If it does, are you willing to throw all that away because he finds it difficult to say he loves you? If it doesn't, will that be put right by him saying he loves you?

Many a dishonourable man has easily spoken words of love and many a loving man has found those words impossible to utter. It's what people do that matters, not what they say. Stop wanting him to say it and one day, he may realise its truth and say it from his heart, for love is a plant that often starts its life in the dark.

By Cotney John